I'm finding that...

I relate to blogging much as I do to socializing in the "real world."

I tend, after the excitement of feeling as if might be accepted into a community, to begin to retreat back into my more comfortable solitude, and a more guarded behavior among those I'd hoped would become friends.

I have a hard time making friends. I feel as if I can't really trust other people unless they know my weaknesses and insecurities and prove to me that they still accept and like me in spite of them. But then, once I do reveal any of these insecurities, I become embarrassed and feel the opposite need to prove I'm in fact "OK."

I'm convinced, most of the time, that I make people uncomfortable. Of course, most of the time, I'm uncomfortable myself.

NOTE: I sat on this one for a long time, and finding it still to feel true, decided to post it. I don't know how to change the date on it, so it's showing up as August 6 instead of today (Sept 19). Of course, since I've hardly posted a thing in 6 weeks, this doesn't make much difference.