Embracing the Void

I can't seem to wrest myself from the sluggishness that has seeped into my being these last few days, which I've spent either tending to my vomitous, coughing, snotty, and clingy daughter or trying to take care of my own coughing, snotty, achy, though thankfully vomit-free self. I hate being sick, but nothing beats being sick AND having to parent a sick child at the same time. (OK, there are obviously worse things, but I'm feeling hyperbolic at the moment, so indulge me.)

While I hate being sick, I do kind of like the excuse to do nothing but lie in bed and just stare into space. I'm excellent at lazy. I do lazy better than anyone I know (except maybe my best friend in high school, with whom I used to spend entire, glorious days having breakfast). While I am likely to feel ashamed of my laziness when caught in the act (or non-act) by a normal person intent on "getting things done," I'm actually secretly proud of my capacity to do nothing.

But it's hard to justify this behavior in adulthood, when one has familial and professional responsibilities; when your socio-economic bracket is supposedly addicted to work, loathe to take vacation time, unable to relax; and when you happen to have married someone whose work ethic is off the charts, who prides himself in NEVER calling in sick, and even refuses to admit to being sick when he is. (Can you imagine?!) So, I take my slothful moments where I can, and today, with my daughter finally back in preschool and my own professional life still on hold, is one going to be one of those moments, I think.